


Nothing More Than Crazy

by ProjectFYERBIRD



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers Animated (2007), Transformers: Prime, Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, But I don't care, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Gratuitous Smut, I already know I'm going to hell, I should have gone home, It's really go big or go home at this point, Kinks, Light BDSM, Like . . . really resolved, Morning Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Pretty sure this counts as xenophilia, Reader-Insert, Resolved Sexual Tension, Rough Sex, Shameless Smut, Shower Sex, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M, Undercover As Prostitute, Undercover as a Couple, Xeno, forgive me i have sinned, human reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-31 03:43:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6454033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProjectFYERBIRD/pseuds/ProjectFYERBIRD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Welp, on another site I write on, I asked my friends "Comment/like if there is an Autobot/Decepticon you wanna date/marry/fuck. If you do want to do one of those options with your favourite bot/con(s) comment which one! I'm curious as all hell which Transformers you guys are crushing on." What I got was a the most NSFW thing I've ever added to. At the time of this being written, there were 238 comments and this had lasted over three days. I decided to write a one-shot for each comment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. TailgatexReader: What Is Innocence?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Comment(s): 
> 
> And, here me out when I say this: cute and fluffy sex with Tailgate.

Your E/C eyes slowly slid open, and some renegade locks of H/C hair obscured your vision. With a huff of warm air, you blew them out of your face. The half lit, arctic blue visor of Tailgate gazed softly at you, and you placed a hand on the white metal of his cheek. As always, he was warm to the touch. "You're warm," you said, voice thick with sleep. Leaning forward, you press a kiss to the metal of his facial mask. "Hey, cutie," he hummed lowly. You let out a sleepy giggle as you nuzzled your face into his necks cables. "You're the cute one," you murmured, gently nibbling on an energon line. Tailgate heard his cooling fans click on with a low, humming whir. You moved yourself so you were straddling him, thighs framing his hips. On his back now, he looked up at you, visor glowing a little bit brighter. You placed your hands on his white and cerulean chest, slender fingers deftly slipping into sensitive transformation seams no one else--including another Minibot--could ever hope to have access to with their larger anatomy.

Tailgate let out a quiet, pleased noise that was almost went unheard over the low whirring of his cooling fans. You adjusted your position so that you were now laying on top of him, nuzzling your face in the crook of his neck once more. "This is nice," he said, voice barely above a whisper. "Yeah," you agreed with a smile, "it is." His digits ghosted over the patch of skin left bare by your thin, spaghetti strap tank top, which had begun to ride up your back. You shivered, as his touch had sent the good kinds of tingles up and down your spine. "Keep that up and things will start to escalate," you warn teasingly, E/C eyes sparkling playfully. "Keep what up?" Asked Tailgate, feigning innocence. His visor glinted mischievously, and he continued his minestrations. The pads of his digits traced swirling designs on your soft, S/C skin, drawing a shuddering breath from you. 

Tailgate nuzzled you, and his digits trailed lower. Sucking in a sharp breath of air, you spread your legs slightly, allowing him easier access. Your hands trembled and came to grip his shoulders. His touches were light, teasing, and most definitely maddening. Just as he had before, Tailgate traced delicate and intricate patterns on the inside of your thighs. "Stop teasing," you chided breathlessly. "I'm not teasing," Tailgate defended, "just drawing out the moment."

"Well, your 'drawing out the moment,' is teasing in my book." 

"You're impatient today."

"Tailgaaah," you dissolved into a moan as he finally stopped teasing you and thumbed your wet folds. Tailgate's own cooling fans were roaring, and his frame grew warm, but not uncomfortably so. Careful as to not accidentally harm you, he slowly slid in a digit. A shuddering gasp clawed its way from your throat, and your grip tightened. He added in another digit, just as careful as before. You moaned again, the sound rolling off your tongue. Tailgate scissored his digits, and you made even more of those beautiful gasps and moans. 

Tailgate hummed, appreciating the sounds you made. He went deeper, and your walls clenched down as they tried to pull him in even more. The E/C irises of your eyes was only a thing ring, swallowed by the lusful dilation of your black pupils. "Tailgate," you mewled out, arms giving out. You collapsed on top of him, boneless. Weakly, you nibbled on sensitive cabling and energon lines. He stretched your walls further, and added in a third digit. The knot in your stomach was pulled taut, and grew closer to snapping with each movement from the digits inside of you. 

Tailgate let out a quiet giggle, admiring how you looked. He twisted his digits upward, hitting your G-spot. You cried out, bones turning into jelly. Your walls clamped down on this digits, and your nails dug into the paint on his chest as you writhed in the throes of pleasure. He withdrew his digits, and they were coated with your juices. Tailgate felt his interface panel send him a ping. He accepted it, allowing his panel to open with a  _snik._ He exposed his dripping valve and pressurized spike to the air, theor biolights pulsing in time with his spark. 

Having caught your breath, your look trailed downward. The air you were about to let out got stuck halfway out of your throat, your breathing hitching. Tailgate's spike was a soft snow white, with pulsing, artic blue biolights running down its length. His weeping valve was also white, and his node was a darker, saphhire blue.

You slid down Tailgate's body, raising your hips above his spike as you aligned yourself. 

"Y/N, are you _sure_ you want to do this?" Tailgate squeaked, the sight of you almost too much for him.

"Not that I don't want this, because I really do, we've just never gone this far before and--ohh," he cut himself off with a moan as you sank your hips down on his spike. "Stop being so nervous," you chided breathlessly. 

"I'm not a delicate flower."

"Yeah, I, ah, g-got that." 

Aw, his stutter was adorable. Tailgate canted his hips upward, drawing gasps from your mouth. The two of you created nice rhythm, you sinking down onto him as he rocked his hips up at the same time. 

But even through the haze of burning arousal and ectasy, you began to feel the not pleasant kind of burn in your thighs. Tailgate seemed to notice, because he sat up, allowing you to lean against his chassis. This new position relieved the burning in your thighs, and you could look into his visor. You rolled your hips down in time with his thrusts, throwing your head back and exposing your neck. 

Tailgate nuzzled your neck, and you let a giggle slip out. You could feel the familiar knot in your abdomen start to become taut with pleasure, just as it had before. Your chest pressed against his as your back arched. You pawed at his shoulders, mewling. You came first, almost wailing from the pleasure crashing into your body. Tailgate overloaded soon after, and you both rode out your respective orgasams. 

For the moment the both of you were content to simply bask in the feeling, holding each other close with Tailgate still seated inside you. 

"Y/N?" He asked you.

"Yeah?"

"I love you." 

You smiled at him, booping his facial mask.

"I love you too, Panic Legs."

"Hey!" 


	2. WhirlxReader: Karma's A Bitch, And So Am I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Comment(s): 
> 
> And, oh my God: sorta rough passionate sex with Whirl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SkyLLeX: I'm laughing because I was writing this when you commented.

"Make me."

It's funny how those two words can be so sexualized. They were how you ended up here. Here being pressed up against the wall with Whirl's body all but conformed to yours, his knee in-between your legs. A startled gasp escaped your mouth when his claws reached your shoulders and forced you down so your panty covered pussy ground on his plating. You threw your head back, and Whirl changed the positions so your legs were wrapped tightly around his sturdy and rather amazing waist as he ground his rapidly heating interface panel against your crotch. 

Gasping out, your nails dug into his shoulders, chipping the paint. Whirl's claws made quick work of your panties, literally tearing them from your body. The rest of your ensemble--your bra, shirt, and pants--had suffered the same fate earlier. Neither of you could properly articulate full, more than 5 word sentences, and just stuck to simple, no more than 5 word lines. You back was undoubtedly going to be sore after the endorphins had washed out of your system, but you couldn't find it within yourself to give a shit. You were getting laid, and focused on that.

Whirl's elongated head did not come with a mouth--as it had been removed along with his face--so kissing was a problem that took care to solve. You settled for kissing the space framed by two prongs just below his singular golden optic. You moved your attention to his neck, where you bit down--not hard enough to be painful--on the cables and energon lines that curled around it. Whirl continued on grinding against you roughly, increasing the force used. 

A moan worked its way from your throat, hovering in the air before dissipating. Whirl's panel opened with a  _snik,_ exposing his already leaking and pressurized spike and weeping valve. His claws tightened their grip on your waist and around your breasts. Your arms were free, albeit a little preoccupied with trying to touch every part of Whirl's frame that you could. Starting with his interface array. The slick folds of his valve were parted by your eager fingers, and you teased the soft outer mesh. Whirl's vents stuttered, and you smirked. "N-now don't go teasing me," he warned. 

Your fingers gave him what he wanted, slipping inside the hot, almost scorching, mesh of his light blue valve. The yellow biolights rippled in pleasure, and you pinched his outer node, grinding the heel of your palm into it. Whirl's vents hitched in pleasure, and his hips canted upward into your hands. Your fingers didn't move, however, and Whirl was quick to notice that. 

"W-hat are you waiting for? _Move!_ " He gasped out, voice almost pleading. "Sssh," you hummed, struggling to keep the giggles from your somehow even voice. You suddenly scissored your fingers, making Whirl shout out in ectasy. Then you didn't move again, making him buck his hips into your fingers impatiently. "Are you waiting for an invitation?" He hissed out, and if he had a face it would have no doubt been hissed out between clenched teeth. 

"Sssh," you said again, this time driving your fingers upward to jab at his ceiling node. Whirl cried out again, his hips grinding down into your hand. "Karma's a bitch," you whispered seductively in his audio receptor, biting your lip, "and so am I." This was payback for him teasing you in the hallway. The subtle shifting, glances, slight touches in sensitive areas by an errant claw. You had told him to stop, and he responded with 'make me.' Yes, you were going to make him stop. 

"W-what? Are you still mad at me about that? Now?" He asked breathily, still trying to get you to move your fingers again. You didn't answer, sucking on your bottom lip. "Will you never tease me again?" You demanded in a low voice, just barely twitching your fingers. Whirl whined helplessly, claws giving you a mild squeeze. "Y-yes," he promised, the words tumbling from non-existent lips, "just move!" You smirk, leaning forward to nip playfully at his antenna. "Make me." 

Whirl growled, golden optic narrowing on you. With one smooth movement, he had removed your fingers from his valve, and all but rammed his spike into your sopping heat. "I'll make you," he snarled in your ear, just bumping against the shell. He slammed your hips down against his, and stars burst across your vision. Your fingers, some still slick with lubricants from Whirl's valve, dug into his shoulders once more as he mercilessly thrust into you. Knuckles turned white as he pounded you, and you shifted your hips as you adjusted your grip on him. 

You cried out a moan, head being thrown back as his spike rammed into your G-spot. Your hips were going to be sore after this--no doubt about it--and you were certain that you were going to walk funny for a while. Your knees squeezed Whirl's hips harder, and you hooked your ankles around the small of his back for further leverage as you bucked your hips to meet his rough rhythm. The hard metal of the wall met your back with each thrust, jarring you. 

The ridges of his spike caught pleasureably on your inner walls, drawing out the feeling. You felt the knot in your stomach holding you above nothingness tightening, almost ready to snap and send you hurtling over the precipice of pure, carnal pleasure. A few more thrusts and you were thrown over that ledge, screaming out Whirl's name. Your warm, wet walls clenched down on his ridged, metal spike. Your orgasm triggered his, and silvery transfluid filled your insides, some of it leaking out when he pulled out with an obscene squelch that sounded like it belonged in a porno rather than real life.

Boneless, you now understood the meaning of 'my legs felt like jello.' You collapsed against Whirl's glass cockpit, probably fogging up the glass as your naked chest heaved. Your legs did in fact feel like jello, and downright refused to hold your weight. Whirl was gracious enough to do that for you, holding your exhausted and limp human body close to him. "Didn't know you liked to cuddle," you murmured--voice airy and hazy with the aftershocks of pleasure that still went through you--as your heavy feeling arms looping around his neck. Your H/C hair was plastered to your forehead by a thin sheen of sweat. 

Whirl let out a subdued snort through his vocalizer, "Yeah, yeah," he said, waving off your statement, "just don't go runnin' around tellin' everybody." You rolled your drooping E/C eyes, but said nothing as you snuggled into his warmth.

There would definitely be bruises, and you would be sore as hell, but if you got to do this more often, then you didn't care. Besides, you liked it rough. 


	3. CyclonusxReader: Reluctant Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Comment(s):  
> I feel like sex with Cyclonus would be really passionate and hot and heavy. Like damn, he just seems to be that type of person. And he can SING.
> 
> That, and he would probably hold back, when he first had it with you, and then he just let's it all GO.
> 
> Yeeessss! He really would! I mean you gotta look at it from every angle when the two of you commit to this the first time around, I mean he'd probably be rather delicate with you cause you'd be looking at differences and just how long he's been gone omg.

Cyclonus' hands carefully settled on your hips, hesitant go down any farther. "Are you sure?" He questioned, giving you the option of backing out if you had changed your mind. "That's the third time you've asked me that, I'm sure," you reassured, voice sure as you pressed soft kisses against the sensitive cables on his neck. You were almost bare before him, your bra and panties the only scraps of fabric still on your body. 

"I . . . apologize, I merely want you to know the option of backing out is available," Cyclonus said, using a pointed digit to tilt your head up to look at him. Even in his mass displaced form, he had a height advantage of a full head. He kissed you deeply, and you relaxed against him. Your hands slid from behind his neck to his chestplate, resting there and toying with the rough edges of the metal. His hands removed themselves from your hips, fiddling with your bra for a moment before unclasping it. Your breasts spilled free from the cups, and you placed the undergarment on the ground with the rest of your clothing. 

A rumble built in Cyclonus' throat, and he felt his already pressurized spike press impatiently behind his interface panel. He deleted another ping from his array, manually keeping his interface panel from opening. He wanted to make sure you were prepared first before he did anything. 

Your panties were the next to go. The soft material slid down your thighs, and soon joined the rest of your clothes. Cyclonus' hands moved to your thighs, massaging the smooth skin as they moved up. You drew your lip between your teeth as you bit it in anticipation. A digit slowly parted your slick folds, lightly rubbing against your clit before entering you. Your grip tightened slightly as you moaned. 

Cyclonus denied yet another ping from his interface array, adding another digit to stretch you out. You mewled, burying your face in his neck. He gently scissored his digits, still preparing you for his spike. You ground your hips into his digits as he thrust them in and and out of your wet heat. He slipped in a third, stretching you further. It was clear he wouldn't be able to add any more. Your knuckles turned white as you came, drenching his digits with your juices. His digits still seated inside you; stretching you, Cyclonus set you so that you were lying on the sizeable berth. 

A hand splayed across your bare stomach, keeping you flat on your back. You peered at Cyclonus over the swell of your breasts, supressing a moan at the sight of him licking his digits clean of your arousal. You found that, for some reason that was lost to you, extremely hot. He crawled up your body, hands mapping out your curves. A forearm rested beside your head, and his digits curled into your soft, H/C hair. His other hand cupped the side of your face, a digit lightly swiping the smooth skin of your cheek.

"Are you ready?" Cyclonus asked, his breath tickling your face as he looked deeply into your eyes. You nodded. He finally allowed his interface panel to open, his already pressurized spike relieved of almost painfully pressing up against the modesty plate. His spike nudged against your entrance, the ridges catching on the skin of your thigh. Slowly, he entered you. You bit your lip and squeezed your eyes shut, feeling your lower region stretched to the point of uncomfortably so. It didn't hurt, no, but it didn't exactly feel good either. 

Cyclonus paused to deliver another asking look, to triple ensure that you were okay with this decision, in case you somehow changed your mind.

Obviously the answer he found in your eyes was a resounding no, you had not changed your mind.

Cyclonus simply held you as you got used to the feeling. After a minute or two, your walls relaxed, and you began to feel the firsts hints of pleasure roll through your body. He withdrew his spike and thrusted into you, slow and deep and dragging over your inner walls deliciously. You hissed out a moan between your teeth, fingers doing their best to try and knead the cabling under the seams. 

But what you didn't know was how hard Cyclonus was trying to remain gentle and not start ramming into you. The noises you made were so tempting, and you were just so  _tight._ You clenched around him more, making it harder and harder. Eventually, he let go. 

You cried out louder when Cyclonus started to pick up the pace, roughly thrusting into you with almost bruising force. The sounds he made were low, and sent shivers down your spine and vibrated through your body. The noises you emitted were downright pornographic. You could feel a knot in the pit of your stomach tightening, almost to its braking point. 

Cyclonus leaned forward so his mouth was level with your neck, and bit down. Not too hard as to bring you serious harm, but enough that you felt the sharp sting through your haze of ectasy. He laved his tongue over the bite, sucking a mark that was definitely going to be there when you woke up. 

It was what pushed you over the edge, and you came with a loud cry, tightening around his length. Cyclonus thrust into your wet heat a few more times before overloading himself, shooting spurts of transfluid into you. He pulled out after a moment, rolling off on you. For a moment you thought he would kick you out of the berth. After all, that was what usually happened when you slept with someone. Would Cyclonus be any different?

To your surprise, he took you into his arms, molding your body to his. You blinked, but didn't protest. Instead, you simply rested your head on his chestplate, allowing the soft sounds of his inner workings lull you to sleep. 

With a sigh, Cyclonus fell into recharge beside you.


	5. I Don't Do Requests

I don't do requests. Please stop asking for them, it's getting quite annoying. This is something I wrote for my friends and myself, and I have no idea what gave some of you the idea that I do requests. Read the summary properly.


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